Najib’s efforts, as reported in Malaysiakini, to assure us that the recent entry of 40 ulama into UMNO would not turn the party into an extremist Islamic party reminded of a hilarious story narrated to me by one of my dearest of friends.
This friend was then still at varsity and one of his friends was to deliver a lecture or something like that along the lines of ‘What is a Muslim’ or something like that. Let’s call my friend’s friend J.
J took to the rostrum and asked the audience to imagine a pig, freshly circumcised, dressed in a green jubah, sitting rather dignified-like, hind legs folded in a lotus position, on a green, velvet cushion.
Imagine, J asked the audience, that you now adorn the head of the pig with a skull cap and throw an ‘Arafat’ scarf around its neck.
J went further.
Now stick a long goattee on its chin.
Then came the most difficult part.
Train the pig, J asked the audience, to scream everytime anyone passed by who was not similarly attired, “Death to the infidels! Death to the infidels”.
And when you’ve succeeded in doing all of this, J posed to the audience, take a step back, look at the pig and ask yourself, ‘Is this a Muslim?’.
My friend tells me that J barely made it out of the lecture hall to a waiting cab!
So, no Jibby, we have no concerns that UMNO might turn into an Islamic party, extremist or otherwise.
You see, all the ulama and all the clergy you entice into UMNO cannot sanitise and render kosher that which you and your ilk rob from the poor rakyat.
There isn’t two sen worth of Islam running through the veins of UMNO.
Seriously, J’s pig has a head start over you lot at ever being Muslim!
It doesn’t lie, rob or murder!